Monday, December 23, 2013

Watch For The Red Flags

Today I am going to discuss some side issues of a crime that took place in Atlanta a few days ago.  I won’t be mentioning any names because quite frankly the names don’t matter.  A few days ago, a woman was found unconscious in her kitchen after being strangled and with wounds to her face.  Upon entering the home, the police knew immediately that her 4 year old son was missing and presumed to be with the Dad and the Dad is their first suspect.  The Dad and the child was later found in a shallow grave dead from what looked like an apparent murder suicide.    

Now, the side issue that I want to discuss is that of domestic violence.  It never ceases to amaze me how many women stay with a man that abuses them.  I have been a single mom most of my kids’ lives and as hard as it has been to be a single mom, I would choose that over being battered any day.  Sure I had men from time to time, but in the end, they couldn’t either accept me or they couldn’t accept my kids and that is when I knew to draw the line.  These men didn’t provide anything to the home that I wasn’t already providing and I couldn’t see why I needed to put up with a bunch of fussing if it wasn’t meant to be. 

Women need to grow up and learn to take responsibility for what is theirs.  Ladies, I realize that it takes 2 to make a baby and in a perfect world, two people should and would raise that baby; but there are just some men that are not up for the challenge and since you are the one that brought that baby into this world … by all means, I see it as your responsibility to raise that baby.  I realize that with that last statement, I have made a lot of women mad and that is alright … but common sense tells you that you could have put it up for adoption or aborted it … you say you don’t believe in those choices, I ask you then what is the alternatives:  live in an abusive relationship forcing a guy to be somewhere where both of you are not happy … oh yeah, that is very healthy for all concerned. 

Think about it, if the man abuses you, what in your right mind tells you that he would never abuse the kids?  It is only common sense that the older the child or children get, the more likely the abuse will start on them.  So, am I am to assume that this is healthier for the baby than adoption or abortion under the pretense that at the time, you thought you could make it work.  Let’s face it, you know shortly after meeting someone if they are abusive or not.  If it doesn’t show its head with the two of you, then you know very shortly after becoming pregnant that he isn’t going to take to fatherhood very well and he begins to show his temper in the little things. 

My point is this, there are always red flags and we have to learn to look for the flags and we have to do whatever is necessary to protect that child.  If he is showing a red flag of having a temper when it really isn’t anything to lose your temper over, then move on for the child’s sake.  Why on earth would you stay?    No, not all the cases end like the one I described above, but I have to wonder, how many times did she know he had a temper and would fly into a rage before this incident happened?  Would that poor baby be alive today if she had paid closer attention to the small red flags?  I am sure in that sweet things four years of life, his Daddy had already showed his Mommy that he had a temper and she should have used that opportunity to run.  To run fast … to run real fast. 



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