Just recently, while in the process of writing a book, I
have learned what all is a matter of public knowledge and some of the things
that is public knowledge can be very helpful in making dating a lot safer. There is some very helpful information that
is available for the asking. Information
that could help prevent you from making some of the mistakes that I have. I want to discuss those mistakes, and then I
want to discuss how easily they could have been avoided without ever doing a
background check (which can cost a lot of money), but just by doing a little
research that requires just a minimum fraction of your time.
A few years ago, I dated and subsequently lived with a guy
by the name of John Courson. His mother
was in my Sunday school class and she told the class about her son that was in
prison for 2 years and that he needed pen pals.
When I asked what he was in prison for, she said that it was a big
misunderstanding. Well, I believed her
whole line without ever questioning another soul or without ever just trying to
do some research of my own. Had I done
just a little research on my computer, in the comfort of my own home, without
ever leaving the comfort of my desk, I would have found out he had been
arrested:
·
5 times for driving without a license
o
Which
would have come in handy when I was letting him drive my car
·
2 times for DUI
o
Which would have made me extremely cautious,
since he is known to drive without a license and now I know that he will drive
under the influence of drugs or alcohol?
·
4 times for pawning stolen items
o
Which would have given me a heads up that he
would eventually steal from me if given the chance … and he did?
·
4 times for giving false information
o
Which means he will tell you those bold lies if
it meant he would get anywhere with you.
·
Once for Theft
·
2 times for Check Fraud
o
Which would have given me another heads up that
he will encourage me to write bad checks and surely have a false excuse about
how the money will be in there when the check gets ready to clear.
o
By the way, I was later arrested because I
believed such lies for 2 counts of check fraud.
·
One count of Non-payment of child support
o
Let me just tell you, if the man isn’t going to
pay his child support, you can already guess where you are on his little totem
pole of priorities.
·
And finally, he has been arrested 14 times for
probation violation.
o
This one really says a lot about a person
§
He has no regard for law enforcement or
authority figure
·
Which your next question should be how far back
does this go
§
He doesn’t play by the rules
§
He is exempt from society’s guidelines
These arrests tell you a lot about someone. First of all, all these arrests happened at
different times and I can assure you it is very clear that none of them were a
misunderstanding. The law knew full well
what they were doing in those cases as well as all the others that they are
faced with on a daily basis. This is the type of person that is out there
preying on single working women. He
wants someone that will support him because he sure isn’t going to work for
anything he has. Why should he work when
all he has to do is steal it from someone else who worked for it.
Another man out there preying on single working women is
another guy I dated and very shortly thereafter started living with, James
Sheffield. When I met him, he told me
that he had been previously married one time and that he had a child by that
marriage. Again, if I had just done a
little typing on my trusty computer keyboard, I would have found out:
·
He had been married and divorced 3 times
o
What would be the harm in telling me that he was
married and divorced 3 times? He told me
about the one time, did he only tell me about that one because he had a son by
that one?
·
He had been arrested 3 times for family violence
o
Why would I want to be with someone that is
known to be abusive in the past?
·
He had was under a permanent restraining order
from these woman and from the one child.
o
So the abuse was so severe that a judge granted
these women a permanent restraining order.
That isn’t an easy thing to get on someone. He have to prove that they are abusive and
possibly likely to return to do it again.
·
And again, arrested once for not paying child
support.
o
If he doesn’t respect his own child enough to
send the child support, how much do you think he is going to allow you to spend
on your child(ren)?
All this is information that had I took the time to look it
up, could have saved me a lot of heartache, lot of money, and in the last case,
my possessions. The one that was abusive
in the past, turned out to be abusive with me and took me for about $7,000 out
of a savings account that I had. The one
with all the arrests, he was arrested several more times while we were
together. He introduced me to Cocaine
and because of that, I started a spiral downward that wouldn’t end for 14
months. In the end, where I had no
criminal record before meeting him, I now have a felony record; where I was
able to provide a 3 bedroom house for me and my boys to live, I lost all of
that and the furniture in it; as for money, I could not begin to tell you what
I lost in monetary value with him. No, I
do not blame him for my addiction that was my doing. I didn’t have to partake of what he was
offering. That is my whole point, with
just a little research, I could have avoided these men and you can too with
just a few clicks of the computer. All
you need to is get some very basic answers from them: their name; what city did they go to school
in; where did they grow up; and just for kicks, ask them if there is anything
in their background. You may find that
he/ she gives false information also. If
you want to know how to do this kind of research, send me a message, I will be
more than happy to show you the sites that you can utilize to find this
information.
No comments:
Post a Comment